Hanging in the desert

I went to a seminar on the Gold Coast last night with one of my closest friends, Cam. A guy from the USA was speaking about times in the desert. He talked about Moses, and how he wandered the desert for many years- alone and with the Israelites. He said that these times God uses to refine us and prepare us for something big, the next stage on our jounrey with Him. He spoke about that it is in these times that we often feel the lowest and find stuff the hardest where God minsters to us the most. He draws close to us in these times and we can hear Him the clearest at these points- why? Well, I think because we listen more! In the desert you're alone, hot, tired and there is nothing around you to lean on or prop you up. It is in this time when life isnt rosy that we do seek more- more of God hopefully, but in our seeking we listen more. Look for His voice, for signs of life, water, shade. This guy was amazing and he seriously spoke to my heart last night.



I finally understood my year of 2009. Its like it clicked. God has completely taken away everything or everyone that I used to lean on INSTEAD of Him. All year He has been saying to me, My love is enough. I am. I am enough. All year I've been trying ot get it. All year I've been trying to practise it, and well, to be honest friends, I've completely struggled. I've been closer to depression and all those nasty lonless things this year than I care to define. I never thought I'd be where I have been, emotionally and physically, this year. BUT you know what, I'm SO grateful for it. It's been unbeliveably tough, unbelieveably, BUT I see God in it. I see Him walking in this with me. I see Him steering the ship, and now- finally- I get it, in my heart. I get why I've been in the desert, and you know, I love it.

I know I'm out coming out of it because I feel myself wanting to stay there now- which sounds completely ridiculous I know!! but we are so close now- me and my God- I hear Him; I feel Him; we chat. That's what He's taught me in the desert. If i hadn't had all my vices stripped away; if I hadn't had 'poeple' let me down and not be around for me; If I didnt have to struggle with doing many things solo that I normally would have taken someone to, or had someone to help with, I wouldn't know the depth of Gods love for me. I just wouldnt be able to get it. I understand that now. I get Him. I'm so greateful for my desert season cause I know this now, and I KNOW that he is enough. Isn't that cool!!


This guy spoke last night, and all I could do was nod and go "yep, I get it". I finally understand that God loes me enough to let me go into the desert for a season to refine me; to refine 'us' and our relationship. That's such a privilege.